Poliskatten Tizer

wkrailtizer

Tro det om ni vill, men i London finns en PC – alltså en Police Cat:

Police at a north London railway station have got mice running scared – after recruiting a 13-year-old cat. Tizer was adopted by British Transport Police (BTP) from the Cats Protection charity in September and inducted into the force as an honorary constable. In his role as the Chief Mouser Pc Tizer walks around King’s Cross rail station to keep it rodent-free. An ”essential member” of the team, he has unfettered access to all areas and shares an office with a senior officer. ’Playing fetch’ Insp Roy Sloane, who enlisted the tabby, said: ”Pc Tizer is already an essential member of the team. Since we got him we haven’t seen any mice in the building at all… Prior to his arrival we were spending a fortune on pest control and it wasn’t really working.” Insp Sloane said he visited the charity’s adoption centre in north London with the aim of finding a cat to clean up the station’s rodent problem. He met Tizer, who arrived at the centre in August after his owner died. Insp Sloane, who shares his office with Pc Tizer, added that his feline colleague helps other officers ”de-stress” and has given a boost to the force’s morale. ”Everyone is always asking after him, and he is probably the most popular member of staff” he said. Cats Protection Adoption Centre acting deputy manager Alex Davies said: ”He loves being around people, and likes nothing more than playing fetch with his toy spider.”

Now an honorary constable, in his off-duty time PC Tizer shares an office with a senior human, Inspector Roy Sloane (right), although he has the run of the three-storey police building and, according to Insp. Sloane, is ’spoiled rotten’ by the men. He is described as an essential member of the team, and is saving a lot of money previously spent on rodent control — which wasn’t working anyway. He wears a high-visibility collar, and one report said one of the officers was making him a matching coat! In addition to his mousing duties, PC Tizer has noticeably improved morale among the police team and his friendly presence helps officers to combat the stresses of their job. He loves people, so the 24-hour-a-day, busy atmosphere of the station seems to suit him well. He has a favourite toy spider that came with him from the adoption centre, and in quieter moments likes nothing better than to have someone play ’fetch and carry’ with him. He also likes to have the radio on….

Snyggt jobbat, Tizer!

Myndighetskatt – en nospuss till Stora matte

The Four Cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, The second man was an Accountant, The third man was a Chemist, and The fourth man was a Government Employee.

fidohmtarposten

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, ’T-square, do your stuff.’ T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said,’Spreadsheet, do your stuff.’ Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies. Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, ’Measure, do your stuff.’ Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured Exactly 8 ounces into the glass, without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, ’What can your cat do?’ 

The Government Employee called his cat and said, ’CoffeeBreak, do your stuff.’ CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet:
Ate the cookies……..
Drank the milk…….
Shit on the paper…….
Screwed the other three cats…….
Claimed he injured his back while doing so…….
Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions…….
Put in for Workers Compensation…………… and……………
Went home for the rest of the day on sick leave…………

santinosm2

AND THAT, MY FRIEND IS WHY EVERYONE WANT’S TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!!

Bygg ett eget papphus till din katt

Sippo, har du varit med och modellat här?

cathouseaxl

Detta snygga Katthus kan en normal-händig person (D v s de flesta som läst  minst 4 års bygg-mästarut-bildning på högre nivå, satt ihop lego eller smällt upp en svensk frigge-bod…)  bygga av enkel wellpapp, det behövs bara lite finurliga ritningar och dem bjuder Marta Stewart på i en enkel fem-stegs-instruktion! Tre flyttkartonger, en vass kniv, limpistol – ja läs själva! Sätt igång och bygg sedan!

Se bara upp så du inte får lim i pälsen!

Sopis har fått sitt namn?

Den underbara lilla kattpojken har nu döpts av sina mattar till SLUMPEN…  Om det är helt spikat vet jag inte, Vimsan skriver ”Så har vi lilla ”skräpet” som jag kallade honom ett tag eller ”sopis” samt naturligtvis Gullegrisen, Snuttis, mamas lilla godbit osv..kärt barn har många namn.. Jag antar att det lutar åt att Emma får bestämma och då blir det Slumpen. Hon säger eftersom han kom hit av en slump så passar det.. Jaja, än så länge har han fler namn än så…”

Kattflickan, en riktig dam nu, heter Skrållan. Stora kattkillen har trenamnförslag, Lufsen och Nisse och Spinn…

Ja och ni vet ju hur det är – en katt kan ha många namn… T. S. Eliot visste vad han gjorde när han skrev sin dikt om katters namn:

Om kattnamn

Att ge namn åt en katt, det är knepigt som katten.
Det finns inte många som duger till de´!
Man grubblar sig tokig av grubbel om natten.
ETT namn är för lite. En katt vill ha TRE!

Först har det namnet som används därhemma,
det enkla, rejäla, som Peter och Tom 
och Viktor och Jonatan, Hugo och Emma 
-förnuftiga namn, som envar tycker om.

Och om man vill undvika banaliteter
så kan man väl flottare namn hitta på
som Plato, Admetus, Elektra, Demeter
-förnämliga namn men rejäla ändå.

Och sen ska man hitta nåt säreget åt´en,
nåt ovanligt kattnamn med resning och glans
så katten kan känna sig stolt och belåten
och snurra mustaschen och svänga sin svans.

Och sådana namn har jag några på lager
som Munkustrap, Quaxo och Korikopatt
och Bombalurina och Fille Podager.
Det är namn som blott bärs av en endaste katt.

Till sist ska ni veta att misse och missa
har något som inte för människor är,
det namnet som ingen i världen kan gissa,
som katten om natten i hemlighet bär.

Och ser ni en kisse som tyst mediterar
och grubblar, försjunken i länstolens famn
då vet ni mesamma på vad han funderar.

Han grundar och blundar – begrundar sitt namn,
sitt nattliga, kattliga,
evigt ofattliga,
allra förtegnaste, egnaste namn.